Some humouristic morbid thoughts of mine (V)

Damn, this Apocalypse they keep talking about is getting late! I’m dead anxious waiting for it.

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This tough life is killing me. I hope an easy death will keep me alive.

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They say you’re not really dead as long as you keep living in your other significant ones’ heart. Would you let me at least make me a beautiful apartment in your heart just to keep living there comfortably?

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I’m not afraid of death. I just get freaking scared of how creepy the word „death” sounds.

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Why they say: „The criminal was sentenced to life”? They should say „sentenced till death”

Anunțuri

Some humouristic morbid thoughts of mine (IV)

If someone comes up with a joke about me, before I invent it, that means they’re really perspicacious.

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Yesterday I was so sick that I thought I had my both feet in the grave. Today, I feel a little better, I have only one foot left there.

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I like chocolate sooooo much. I’m dying for chocolate. Oh, in fact I do: I just choke with one piece of it.

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„I see dead people!”, said the zombie.

Some humouristic morbid thoughts of mine (III)

Everyday I think of the fact that some day I will die. I hope I will not make it through that day.

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I hope that when I’ll die I’ll be famous and I will not end up like a man that no one ever heard of. So I pray that they won’t misspell my name on the tomb of my grave.

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Somebody asked me once if I want to change the world. I said „Sorry, I don’t have small change at me, right now”.

Some humouristic morbid thoughts of mine (II)

I’m a very special man. I’d be very sorry if someday I’d die.

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I’m sitting here at the office, working my back off a boring-to-death job which brings me a fortune of money. I guess God has a good laugh looking at me or else He would put me out of this misery.

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God gave me a striking luck when I won one billion dolars at the Lottery one month ago, by the time I was homeless and unemployed. Meanwhile, I got employed at a good name company, my manager is very pleased of me and I love my job as a janitor. Now I can afford to pay my rent in the suburb and I can have a good meal at the social eating hall. What more for God’s sake can I ask for?

Some humouristic morbid thoughts of mine (I)

They say there is a life after life. So, when do we die?!

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– So what if you are an atheist? Do you think that you won’t be tried on Judgement Day?
– Oh, yes, I say, but at least I have an alibi.

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My friend has died few minutes ago. Since today, I find out that the mankind starts dying.

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The twenty-first century has begun. But you can still count on me.

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I haven’t believed in God while I was alive but now I do: I am dead and I haven’t yet reached for hell as I was supposed to. So I think I should be grateful to somebody.

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When I was alive I was a true believer and however I had a miserable life. Now that I died, I think that somebody should pay me some compensations.

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As long as I have been alive I’ve seen everyday how unjust God is. Now I am dead and believe me: I don’t care anymore about it.

7th of October 1995